I hear Reiko shouting from the background as I'm writing this. Reiko, if you don't know him yet, is the love of my life and my forever inspiration. Tomorrow, he will be 4 years old.
Wait, in fact right now I have to stop writing because Reiko is asking me to make chocolate pancakes for him.
So anyway, I remember a month ago when I had to make a call to a school near us. It took me so long to make that call. For some reasons, I was anxious and nervous. After a million back and forths, I called the school. Because I had to!
I can't keep Reiko at home forever. I have to let him go. I have to let him develop his social skills outside the four corners of our house. After some deep breathing exercises, I swallowed the nervousness and finally managed to take it all in.
Babies grow up. They become toddlers and preschoolers. They have to go to school and make friends. They become teens and then adults and eventually they will have to leave home to find jobs and have their own families. Pretty much each of us do.
Perhaps because I am so used to him being around me all the time for 4 years - being the overprotective mom that I am, that I find it so hard to even think of calling the school. Then I tell myself... Relax. He's only gonna be out for 1.5 hours, why are you freaking out?
Most likely because I know it's the start.
How will he do in school? What if someone asks him about something and he can't find the right words to say? At his age, he still has limited vocabulary but I'm sure he's a smart boy. He will do fine. And I'm not alone in this circle of thoughts. I'm not the only mom who has to go through this. This. What do you exactly call this?
Tough. But preschool is a milestone. Reiko learning to speak, write, read, play, socialize, and enjoy is a big milestone. I should be happy for him and for myself, for our little family. Because he grew up just fine and he will continue to be better everyday.